September 13/2014
There is a job that is very under appreciated, underpaid, rarely recognized, and yet, one of the most important jobs that can be bestowed upon someone. That is, Caregiver. Caregiver to an aged parent, a chronically ill child, or a beloved friend who needs care. It is a job that one takes on, because their heart tells them so.
I wrote in an earlier post, that my caregiver and I had gone our separate ways. About 2 weeks ago we reconciled, and life has become bearable, once again. I knew my heart missed him, what I didn't realize was how much my body and health missed him.
I bore the title of Caregiver, twice in my life. Once, when my mother had Leukaemia, and the second time when my Ex-husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's. Both times, I just took on the role. I was an only child, and as my Dad had health issues of his own, I became the one to turn to. Years later, my ex would be diagnosed PD about 5 years before my diagnosis, and there was no question as to who would be Caregiver.
The term, Caregiver, is just that....out of "Care", and definitely, "Giver"....give and give until sometimes you feel there is nothing left in you. So with reminders of my own days with this title, I was more than a bit hesitant on depending, myself, on a Caregiver. It is a huge burden....although I know I did it out of love, and with complete determination, it seemed too much to pass this torch on to someone else, on my behalf.
5 years ago, I met and dated a man who stole my heart. We have since, shared a wonderful life, blended our families as best we could, and created a warm and loving home. When I received the diagnosis, I gave him the opportunity to run....and run like heck!! But he did not, instead, he took on a new role....Caregiver.
His role is more important than I had even realized when I had taken on that role. Being the one cared for, and also having been one who had to give care, I knew all too well what may lay head. But with his head held high, he attended doctors' appointments, educated himself about Parkinson's, and is always there to assist with all my needs. He knows full well that this disease is progressive, and it still has not scared him away permanently.
Having a Caregiver, when one has a chronic, progressive disease, is definitely a requirement as I soon found out after our 6 week separation. Of course I'm strong willed, and would make my way through this new life of mine....but it would be at the expense of my home, my friends, my family, my pets, and my independence. I could not, as much as I wanted to deny the fact, keep up with the daily expectations of living day to day., alone. The struggles included, having to get out of bed, face the house hold chores, feed the pets, do the laundry, make the meals, do the groceries, and still be able to take my medications on time, have my naps when required, and not be able to deal with the day as my health is challenged. To be able to stay in bed when rigidity wants to take over your body, to be able to take my time until medications kick in, and to be able to look presentable because the laundry has been done, may seem insignificant at first.....but is truly a daunting task, day after day.
One of the most important things he does for me is provide patience and understanding. When I am frustrated trying to apply my makeup with a shaky hand, and I throw the towel in, and go without....he tells me I'm beautiful. On weeks when I am house bound, and the four walls feel like they are caving in, he reminds me that we have a home with four walls. When I break down in tears for no reason what-so-ever. he lets me have my time, then tells me its time to get on with living. He has tried to fully grasp what I go through by reading my blog, PD articles, and research.....so when I become overwhelmed by little frustrations, he helps me sort through my feelings, and get back on track.
He has shown me the importance of having a Caregiver. Rather, he has shown me the importance of having a "Carepartner"
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