2015 was good to me. Very good. I became a grandmother.....that was wonderful. A happy, healthy, baby boy, Peter Jonathan.
Now regarding my Parkinson's, which takes up a good part of my daily living....I must say....was also good to me. Weird to say that, but, I think I felt better in 2015, than any year since diagnosis. How could this be??? I wasn't cured. I did not take some magical medication. I think, perhaps, in 2015, I came to terms with Parkinson's Disease....acceptance.
This past year, I decided to embrace this disease. I continued to educate myself through some of my online forums and PD Groups, and felt very comfortable giving advice and sharing some of the knowledge I have gained over the last couple of years. I was asked to help administrate one of the larger groups, and as such, gained confidence, and a sense of pride in my own awareness of the many faces and facets of Parkinson's. I have come to know some pretty amazing people from around the world, who face the same challenges either at a lessor or greater extent, but similar none-the-less. I have realized that we Parkies, are a very supportive group. Great people who open their hearts, offer advise and are very compassionate. Even when there are miles or oceans between us.
My Movement Disorder Specialist moved his practice to Toronto. Being well aware of the stress that compounds symptoms in something as small as attending appointments, Dr. Guttman organized online appointments through teleconferencing. I discussed this in an earlier post, but I am now only realizing how much more effective this method of practise is, not just convenience wise, but also to take more ownership of my health. I am prepared with my overview, medication updates, and questions well ahead of time. Knowing there are time constraints, I have a more knowledgeable presence and help direct the session by what I deem as important factors to address.
My medications were tweaked several times over the year. Currently the dosage and timing is next to perfect, so as to experience little, to no, "off" times. I learned how important this regimen is to my daily quality of life. Some days, I can't deny, I become frustrated having to work around my meds schedule, but it is a feeling short lived, knowing how much better I feel when I adhere to the routine.
In continuing research for my groups, as well as for my own interests, I have become quite familiar with research, trials, medications, and significant medical possibilities that are currently being studied. In my quest for this knowledge, I often come upon an article, or online video of Dr. Guttman. This thrills me as I gain this sense of contentment that he has, and continues to work on, some of the most important advancements in Parkinson's Disease. I could not be in better hands.
For my 2015 birthday, my son and his fiance organized a team for our local Parkinson's Walk. I was thrilled that he knew how important my quest to help beat this disease was, that he would take this on and participate along side his mom.....one of the most endearing presents I have ever received. Steven, being quite an organizer all his life, was quick to put everything in place, and as a result, my team, 7 strong, raised $460, and completed the walk, laughing, and sharing a very inspiring day among hundreds of other Parkies who are trying to make a difference. Steven and Janey showed me that putting actions to my words, was one of the best ways to own and fight Parkinson's Disease.
In 2015, I watched my dad turn 82, battle Pancreatitis, have his driver's licence revoked, and become more frail with each passing week. He has had difficulty with his memory, and become easily frustrated. Although at times I feel that he is getting worse, he reappears with a joke, a story, or a trait reappears, that indicates to me....he is still the same man I have loved my entire life. He is just becoming less independent, and as a result, has made me much more aware of spending quality time, and sharing stories of, "Remember when.....". He reinforces to me that no matter what life throws at you (he has survived three triple bi-pass surgeries, two major strokes, and many mini-strokes and the death of my mother, his only love, at a young age) that determination and the power of positive thinking, will get you through the worst, and onto the best of what is to come.
I also got to see my Dad become a great-grandpa......making me, a grandma!!! That beautiful little being that you hold in your arms for the first time, heals everything that is broken, or wrong in the world. You sense familiarity as you see some of your son in this child, perhaps some of my dad, a glance or quick glimpse of my mom in the babie's smile...........I know that this beautiful union of my son and his wife, has created a life that will continue to carry on all or some of the best traits of the people I have loved the most. Holding him in my arms, I don't realize that my tremor is back, or my hip is aching....if only for a few moments....it is as if I am PD free. Not a symptom, medicine or PD thought appears as I stare into my grandchild's eyes.
2015.....was indeed, very good to me. I took control of my Parkinson's....it didn't control me. Of course I had some bad days....many, if truth be told.....but none that ever outweighed the new role I had finally taken on. The role of being in charge of my own health. Trying to live to the best degree possible. It is in owning it, and accepting it, that I can be a peace with it.
Finally, what do I anticipate for 2016? Well, I still struggle daily with apathy and fatigue. These two symptoms are a daily battle. For the upcoming year, I know I have gained the insight and strength to tackle them.....I may never completely overcome them, but 2015 has given me the tools to accept what is, and the drive, determination and support to not give in. To change how I tackle them, and perhaps beat them down. The past year, upon reflection, has been the basis to which I can accept and challenge whatever Parkinson's continues to throw my way, but with a sense of empowerment from what I have already accomplished.
2016....bring it on!!
