Aug. 1/2014  Well....um.....huh.   A sad break up, or a time to regenerate?   My caregiver, my other half, and I have mutually agreed to go our separate ways.  We have left the situation in mutual respect and admiration.  Did it scare me?  Hell yeah!!  I certainly didn't care about the material "things" we had accumulated, and who was to have what.....it was more like.....OMG!!  Can I take this PD adventure on my own?!?!?!

My caregiver was a very social man.  Loved to be with people, talk, and just have fun with anyone and everyone.  Yes, that certainly is quite the opposite side of the coin that my road would be leading.  PD was not the reason for our break up, though, most certainly, it entered into the accumulation of factors that ended our relationship.  That damn Parkinson's Disease just keeps taking, and taking.

When I had cancer, I had tremendous support.  The world knows about cancer.  Everyone knows someone who has or, has had, cancer.  There are support groups, home care, and an incredible number of other services available.  With Parkinson's, particularly, young onset, one feels very alone in their struggle.  My medications control my tremors, for now.  So there are very little outward signature symptoms that one would automatically connect to the disease.  Therefore, to have someone fully understand what a person with Parkinson's faces on a daily basis, is next to impossible.

The caregiver, who attends appointments and groups, is given a basic understanding.  Having lost that, yes, one could say I am a little apprehensive as to what the future holds.  But, I'm not giving up.  Just as my "awe" moment awakened me, so has this.  I have the time and the opportunity to plan my own routines, and actually force myself to do the things I want to do.  I will have to fight through the apathy.

The one single factor affecting a Parkinson's patient is stress.  Of course we live in a world where stress is unavoidable.  But I am able to establish myself, in the best means possible, to avoid those every day pressures.  The every day stressor, such as the lawn needing to be cut but the lawnmower is dead....well, those are somewhat more manageable.  I call someone in....out of pocket....ut oh...that leads to a bigger stressor...money management on a disability income.  With my caregiver, I shared these frequent stressors.  On my own....well, we just have to manage them day by day.

So, in the meantime, I am learning to cope, hour by hour.  I try to live day by day, but sometimes life just keeps giving you roadblocks...so hour by hour is easier to live by.  See that...it has been an hour since I began this blog....no stressors.  That makes for an amazing accomplishment!!!